Love Bombing and Divorce in Georgia

Have you heard of the term “love bombing”? It’s an all-too-common manipulative tactic that narcissistic or abusive spouses use in a relationship. Unfortunately, people who are targets of love bombing don’t always recognize the manipulation.

If you’re thinking of divorce, it’s wise to know about love bombing and identify it if or when it happens. For legal advice on your situation, don’t hesitate to speak with our trusted divorce attorney in Gwinnett County, Georgia.

What is Love Bombing?

Love bombing is an emotional manipulation tactic where the manipulator showers their target with affection to win over that target’s trust, willpower, or admiration. In other words, the manipulative spouse “bombs” the other with signs of love like gifts and compliments – all because they want to reel in that targeted spouse.

It’s common to find love bombing at the beginning of a relationship when the manipulator wants the target’s love and commitment. In these early stages, love bombing may occur in the form of sweet nothings, constant texting, flattery, expressions of attraction, and many gifts.

Later in the relationship, a narcissistic partner may use love bombing again when conflicts arise, such as when their partner is upset with them. This is a strategy for the manipulator to win back their partner, turning the victim’s emotions in the manipulator’s favor, and preventing them from seeking solutions or help.

Signs of Love Bombing

According to therapists, these are common red flags of love bombing:

• • Intense declarations of love – These may include statements like “I can’t live without you” or “You’re my soulmate.”
  • Clinginess – The manipulator wants to be with you or talk to you all the time. Non-stop texting is part of this.

• Showy gifts – Expensive flowers, brand-new devices, and grand surprises are some examples of gifts that may make you feel indebted to the manipulator.

• Overwhelming compliments – A manipulative partner will continuously flatter you to make you feel good with them and gain your favor. They’ll also keep asking for details about you and your life, showing that they’re very interested in you.

• Immense jealousy – A manipulator may make you feel guilty for spending time away from them, even if you’re with family or friends, or simply doing work and hobbies.

• Pressure to commit – At the second date, they may start talking about a future together. Two weeks in, they may suggest moving in. After a few months of dating, they may start pressuring you about marriage or lifelong commitment.

How Can I Tell Love Bombing from Genuine Affection?

Not all expressions of affection can be considered love bombing. It’s only when this affection is designed to control you that it becomes insincere and manipulative. For example, when something in the relationship upsets you, does your partner try to address it with you, or do they resort to placating you with sweet words and gifts?

Love bombing is also inconsistent. A genuinely loving partner may not be as grandiose as a manipulator, but they will be steady and faithful in caring for you. A love bomber, on the other hand, will only give affection whenever they feel they need to. The rest of the time, you may experience their “true colors.”

Love Bombing in Emotional Abuse

According to therapists, love bombing is part of an emotionally abusive cycle. First, the manipulator will overwhelm you with affection. Once they have your trust and devotion, their mask will disappear and they’ll start acting cold or cruel. They may start criticizing you, devalue you, or simply give you the silent treatment.

At this point, you’ll likely be confused by your partner’s inconsistent treatment, but you may already be emotionally attached and yearning for your affectionate partner to ‘return.’ This allows the manipulator to continue the abuse.

Tips to Divorce a Love-Bombing Spouse

The first step is always recognizing the problem. If you’ve already accepted that you need to end the cycle of abuse, then you’re on the right path. Consider these tips to help you divorce a narcissistic spouse and emotionally free yourself from them:

• Stay in touch with trusted loved ones. During the abusive cycle, you may have been isolated from your support network. Get back in touch with family or friends whom you truly trust, and keep them updated about your situation.

• Always see the negative side of love bombing. Other people may say you’re lucky because your spouse seems to be really affectionate with you. Don’t forget that this affection is a weapon against you. To help you remember the abusive pattern, speak to people who have an objective understanding of your circumstances.

• Consider solo counseling or personal therapy. Whether or not you’ve tried relationship counseling with your spouse, it may be worth it to seek professional guidance for yourself. Undoing the emotional attachment can be extremely difficult, but a counselor or therapist has the professional capacity to help you.

• Reduce contact by hiring a lawyer. It’s important to emotionally separate yourself from an abuser. When you hire an attorney, you can make arrangements so that your spouse’s communication goes through your lawyer first instead of directly to you. This gives you an opportunity to recover from the abuse without your spouse’s attempts to manipulate you again.

Contact a Georgia Divorce Attorney

You may still have uncertainties or anxieties as you consider divorcing your manipulative spouse. Talk to Attorney Sharon Jackson for sensitive yet smart legal advice. She has been trusted in Gwinnett County for over 20 years for her effective handling of divorce cases, even complicated ones involving narcissistic or abusive spouses. She is ready to listen to you.

Schedule your confidential consultation with Attorney Sharon Jackson. Call (678) 909-4100 today.